Well, not because this blog needs to be resuscitated is this post. The only form of venting I've been accustomed to is writing. In another 3 weeks or so my spinster status will be lost. I'm petrified by the changes life has in store. I've questions staring and dancing at me. There's this mysterious heavy feeling in the pit of the stomach. At times, all I want to do is run away from wherever I am and begin anew. From scratch. I can I know. I can do it alone. I can do it with my folks. But with another family which might or might not know me, a guy who might or might not change. I'll miss home. I'll miss Chennai. I'll miss my friends.
And so I trouble my best friend everyday. I am marrying my best friend too. The idiom ""You can't eat your cake and have it too." has never made sense to me. Methinks it's started doing now. I scream, I cry, I fight and that species takes it all and mutters, "I love you." That's like salvation.
The minute I put the phone down, that feeling stealthily creeps in again. It grows to such an extent that I become cold and nauseated. Panic attacks, I suppose. So I tell myself, live for the moment. For the day. I'm looking for solace in kids and strangers. It's kinda weird. Music keeps me alive. God keeps me going. I might die tomorrow but I hope I live and sail through.
And so I trouble my best friend everyday. I am marrying my best friend too. The idiom ""You can't eat your cake and have it too." has never made sense to me. Methinks it's started doing now. I scream, I cry, I fight and that species takes it all and mutters, "I love you." That's like salvation.
The minute I put the phone down, that feeling stealthily creeps in again. It grows to such an extent that I become cold and nauseated. Panic attacks, I suppose. So I tell myself, live for the moment. For the day. I'm looking for solace in kids and strangers. It's kinda weird. Music keeps me alive. God keeps me going. I might die tomorrow but I hope I live and sail through.
